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Wedding Fails – Wedding dress fiasco

Wedding Fails – Wedding dress fiasco

I ordered my dress online. I know, I know, risky. It was very risky. But I thought that it would have to be decent standard, maybe not as nice at the whopping 4K dresses I’d seen friends splash out and buy, but usable. Right?

Wrong!!!

The place I ordered from was based overseas in China. They apparently took a month to make and ship the dress. I ordered my dress and all my bridesmaids dresses too. My order was placed well in advance, like a year before my wedding.

This is what happened.

I gave them my measurements, my friend helped me to measure myself for the dress. We checked out all the terms online and submitted the measurements for me and her (she was one of my three bridesmaids). The site crashed as we uploaded the measurements, an ominous sign perhaps?

Anyways, I ordered the three dresses and every single order went wrong in a different way.

My dress was totally wrong in terms of the length. It was way to short. I had added my height as part of my measurement so I was surprised. I complained by email (as they did not answer their phone for customer service) and after a week of emailing them every day they finally replied with a link to the FAQ on their website. I would have to send the dress back and pay an admin fee to get the dress refitted. The admin fee was a quarter of the price of the dress. Reluctantly I agreed.

I got the dress back again and this time it was longer (new dress) but the waste line and bust were really big. I didn’t want to return it again so I got it tailored locally. The seamstress doing the adjustments said that the material was really low quality and ripped during the process. I was in tears and my dress was in tatters. In the end I got a second hand dress in Oxfam and it turned out really nice. I wish I’d thought of that first.

At the same time my bridesmaids dresses went wrong too. The first dress was the wrong size. The company argued (again by email) that the measurements didn’t make sense because my bridesmaid is extremely curvy and they assumed that our measurements were incorrect. My bridesmaid sent it back, got another dress and had to send that back too. The third dress actually fitted okay but it was far from ideal.

My second bridesmaid never received her dress. We found out that it had been held back at customs and the courier had not called me (I check my phone religiously) at all about it. Customs actually sent the dress back and again I had to pay a fee to get it redelivered. But at least it fitted!

The third bridesmaids’ dress was stained. The worst thing was that she didn’t notice when she tried it on for size. It wasn’t until two days before the wedding that she realised it was stained at the back. It looked like it had been preworn and returned.

Things went from bad to worse. My first bridesmaids dress ripped at the bust. She tried to put it back together but it was too late. In the end I went out to the shops and bought three dresses for them and apologised for all the hassle.

I tried to take legal action against the bridal company but I had no comeback because they were based abroad. The same thing happened to a friend of mine who got a website and software application done by an outsourced team. People don’t always realise how little legal rights you have in these cases.

My wedding day itself was fantastic and our dresses all looked fabulous. I never got a refund from the company. I email them every day and will continue to do so until they respond. Maybe they just block my mails. Who knows? I give them bad reviews all the time but they already get so many of those. I suppose it’s one of those things – I took a risk and it backfired but at least I was in a position to be able to get it all sorted.

Jane, Australia

 

If you would like to share your wedding story just send us an email to info@beourguest.app

Wedding Fails – The Venue Disaster

Wedding Fails – The Venue Disaster

We booked our venue early, really early and it was expensive. I’m not talking 5 star, but it was a 3.5 star place and we expected better. Looking back, hindsight being 2020 there were immediate red flags but we had our mind set on the place and nothing could change it.

We loved their website. In fact, their online presence was a hell of a lot nicer than their actual venue. Still, when we went to see the place we were enamored by the decor and design. It was also recommended by an online wedding directory so we thought that we were making a safe bet.

As I mentioned, there were red flags early on. I booked an appointment to talk to them about a month in advance. On the appointment day we arrived early and went to reception. They hadn’t got our appointment listed. They acted like it was my fault. So irritating!!

 

Finally, after lots of complaining they agreed to see us but told us we’d have to wait. We were sitting in reception for about 40 minutes. They didn’t tell us how long it would be, we were not offered tea, coffee, snacks or even a glass of water. When we did get to talk to the wedding coordinator, she was abrupt, rude and dismissive implying that we would not be able to afford their fantastic wedding venue and even asking us what we did for a living.

I’m a vegetarian and I asked about this. Again, the wedding coordinator acted like this was going to be a hassle for them. She offered a risotto as the initial choice and when I asked if they had something else, she sighed and went through another three options acting like it was a major inconvenience.

We should have said ‘no, we’ll find somewhere else’ but I suppose we were naive at the time and didn’t know what to expect.

When the day itself approached, two years after booking the venue, we arrived back at the hotel. Myself and my family were planning to stay there the night before. My partner was from that location so he stayed at home. The night before the wedding I couldn’t sleep. The room was really warm and loud. There were actually four different sources of noise. There was a wedding downstairs and I was just above the bar, the air conditioning unit (or heater or whatever) outside the building was very loud, there was a door outside my room in the corridor which was continuously being opened and slamming shut and I could hear the loud, drunken guests in the room next door cackling into the night. I went and knocked on their door at one point and they nodded and agreed to keep it down, as soon as I left they were laughing about me and purposefully became louder. I called reception and they said that they’d do something about it but never did.

The day itself was even worse. I woke up exhausted after sleeping through my alarm. I almost missed breakfast, heading down in the last ten minutes before it closed. They refused to let me into the breakfast room. I explained that there was still ten minutes left an they still refused saying that I was too late. I pulled bridal status explaining that it was wedding day and they finally relented.

I got poached eggs on toast and they tasted like rubber and vinegar. The toaster wasn’t working well and actually burnt my toast even though it was on a low setting and there were bits of bacon in the tomato halves. I settled for the poached eggs, yogurt, fruit salad and some toast. The eggs were cold.

Still, I made the best of it. I put on a brave face, opened a bottle of prosecco with my bridesmaids and got our hair and makeup done. That part was lovely. After that we headed to the ceremony by horse drawn carriage. It was sensational. Our ceremony itself was magical and I loved every moment of it. The photography was a long process but our photographer got some great shots. She was a perfectionist and I salute that.

When we got back to the hotel, I was worried after the night before. But initially things went well. We were given a glass of champagne each, walked down a lovely carpeted runway and were greeted by our guests. I circled the room asking my guests if they were enjoying themselves. Most of them smiled and said yet. One guest mentioned that they hadn’t gotten a welcome drink. I was puzzled by this and found out that they had stopped serving welcome drinks before everyone got a drink.

I asked the guy serving drinks about this. He still had another two bottles unopened and argued with me that everyone had already received a drink. I got really annoyed and feeling like Bridezilla I threatened to talk to the manager. He relented, looking nervous and opened a new bottle.

The meal was late. That was another bugbear of mine. The hotel complained that the seating plan was not accurate. I had written this myself and sent each copy to them so I asked to see it. They had an earlier draft of it. My husband took over talks with them and told me to relax and spend some time with the guests, he’s in sales so he does have a talent for negotiating.

When it was all sorted, we were brought into the reception room. In fairness the room was lovely, the chair covers were delightful and the decor was stunning. But two tables of guests were placed really far away with a big gap between them and everyone else. I was worried that they might be offended by this. The food was cold or at least luke warm which was a bit annoying. They accidentally served my maid of honor the wrong dish and mortifyingly our priest found a hair in his main course.

We had supplied our own wine and were told that this would be used until it was gone. There was plenty for each table and we hoped that it would last into the night. This is the most annoying part. Our wine just about made it through dinner. We couldn’t really work it out on the day as we were obviously preoccupied but I knew, in my heart, that the hotel had stolen our extra wine bottles. Of course there was nothing we could do about it.

We did had a nice day all in all but it was in spite of the venue. Still, we were embarrassed by the food, the service (the staff were really rude and obnoxious and acted like they couldn’t care less) and irritated by the mishaps. Later we found out that several guests had been missing desserts, had the wrong main courses and that the soup was cold for starters.

Our hotel room (the honeymoon suite) was nice and quiet as well. We had breakfast in bed (again, terrible vinegar flavored eggs but at least it was delivered to our room) and we took some nice pics around the place the next day.

After we got back from our honeymoon (who am I kidding, I did this on our honeymoon!) I wrote a bad review about the wedding venue on the online wedding directory in which they were mentioned. All the other reviews there were positive. Guess what? The wedding directory actually removed my review!!

Nancy from the US

If you would like to share your wedding story just send us an email to info@beourguest.app

Wedding Fails – The parent who doesn’t care

Wedding Fails – The parent who doesn’t care

Some couples opt to share their wedding fails. I used to find that amazing but I kind of understand it now, given a bit of life experience.

Perhaps there is something cathartic in opening up to the world when your life is falling to bits or when you’re so embarrassed that you feel that you can never face your family and friends again.

Maybe there is a kind of healing, an almost magical transformation at work here. What ever this strange alchemy is, the key is being open, honest, vulnerable and sharing.

Shame, guilt and fear prey on you in isolation and silence. Opening up to the world (the good and the bad) will change you forever and even if everyone is not receptive to your point of view or your honesty, the simple act of doing this is powerful.

So, here are some of the wedding fails that we wanted to share. We pass these on to you so that no matter what your fears and worries are, you will know that you are not alone in it.

 

1. The parent who doesn’t care

This story comes from Rita in the US.

My mother never cared about me. Looking back, so much of my early life was about trying to win her love and affection. Later, it was trying to figure out why she didn’t want to bother. I suppose I blamed myself. I thought that maybe if I ‘got my life together’ that I could transform into the kind of daughter that she would notice. She always noticed my younger sister. She was the golden child and I was the scapegoat.

My father died when I was a child. Personally, as bad as this sounds, I blame my mother. She constantly belittled him, criticized him and attacked him. He could do no right. He got sick and died way too young and I wonder if it was too much work, lots of stress and a basic lack of self care.

Anyway, back to the wedding. When my fiance Alan proposed to me, I was so excited. Alan is the kind of person who is dependable, quiet and self contained and wonderfully caring. I’m lucky that I didn’t end up with someone like my mother.

Talking about my mother, she almost ruined the entire engagement. It was meant to be a surprise and Alan had called her and my sister to ask them to be there at a party following the engagement (he presumed that I’d say YES and he was right).

My mother called me up and told me not to marry him. I was shocked. She revealed that she knew something I didn’t know (she knew about the engagement) and finally, despite me telling her not to reveal any details, told me the time that he planned to propose.

I never told Alan. I didn’t want to ruin it on him. I gasped with shock and awe and jumped up and down (with genuine excitement) when he popped the question at one of my favorite spots by the beach. My mother and sister could not attend the ‘surprise’ engagement so I called her on the phone. I don’t know why I called her or why I tried so hard. But she simply told me that it wasn’t big news, that people get married every day and that marriage is a waste of money. I was devastated.

Alan and I saved up for our wedding. We’re both graphic designers so we earn a good wage and we are also quite frugal. We paid for my mother’s accommodation when she refused to go because of costs. We even got her transport and dress. We shouldn’t have bothered.

On the day itself, she was belligerent from the start. She insulted Alan’s parents, telling them that they should have raised their son better and that I had had a chance to marry a guy in stockbroking who earned a lot more. She implied heavily that it wasn’t too late for a quickie divorce and remarry. She refused to talk to several of my father’s family and actually made racist and sexist comments about my friends. My sister was getting annoyed at her but still made excuses.

Finally I had enough. I approached her and told her to stop destroying my day just as she was flirting with Alan’s father at the bar. She just stared at me and told me that I was ungrateful. And then something magical happened. I told her NO. I said ‘I’m not over sensitive, ungrateful or playing the victim. I’m just disappointed in you’. And I left.

My sister started hurling abuse at me for insulting my mother. I told her that enough was enough, that neither she nor my mother were welcome in my life.

It was a strange day. I cried after that and Alan came to find me. He wrapped me up in his arms and hugged me telling me that he was my family.

 

If you would like to share your wedding story just send us an email to info@beourguest.app

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